sophboobs
A clean slate. That was all I wanted. I didn't want this. The red, all the redness. I couldn't help it. She wouldn't listen to me. I told her I didn't mean to drown our son in the swimming pool. His face looked so annoying, blubbering the blue water from his misshapen mouth and the gurgled screaming. I couldn't help it so I explained it to her. I tried to make her see my side. I just wanted a clean slate, it's not like we can't make another son right? But she didn't understand. She- she went and called me crazy. Screaming and crying, distorting that ugly ass face of hers. Everything went black from then on until I felt something hot drip down my arms. Red. Blood. This wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted a clean slate.
There is something fascinating to me about absence. You create a ghost of someone even though they are perfectly breathing and all because you miss them. You create a presence. There is yearning and wonder. At some point, you do not even actually miss them. You just miss missing.