starcrosser

starcrosser

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boost

i wish i had more things to boost my confidence. i don't really have much. i mean.. people say that i'm great, but so what. enh. fuck confidence boosts. what i really think of when i hear the world boost is those protein boost thingies they offer at Jamba Juice. don't ask why.

admit

there's a lot that everyone needs to admit to. and then, there are things that should be admitted but aren't, and things that shouldn't that do. admittance is such a strange thing. everyone holds a different meaning for it that everyone else, and get upset over the things that are or aren't said.

tale

i tell too many tall tales, it feels. i have big fish syndrome. something to work one, i suppose.

hats

some days, hats just look stupid. i don't know why. but that's all i have to say on the matter. well. that, and i really want a boulder hat.

trees

there's a lack of trees here. well, not really. but at the same time, yes. if you go to the parks, there's trees. but on the city streets, there are only lamp posts and telephone poles, mail boxes and newspaper stands, garbage and piss. a huge oak would be nice. like the one in 'shawshank redemption'. one to relax under, make love under, read under. just a big oak tree to soak up it's oxygen, and sleep.

cheek

i miss the feel of his cheek on mine. the warmth, the comfort, the love i can feel radiating from it. i love how when we are like this, he's holding me, and i can just melt in his arms, and drift off to a better place with the scent of him wafting in my make- believe breeze.

moon

the moon and i are always in sync. when it waxes and wanes, my battery levels sway along with it. whenever i stare at it, i feel like i am greeting an old friend. i take comfort in the glow, as if it is just trying to tell me that everything will be alright.

being held tightly, overpowering any worries that might be clouding your brain, and just having that person hold you for twenty minutes without asking for anything in return leaves you slightly overjoyed. it's comfort, it's home, it's... peace.

bleak

my moods have been fairly bleak lately. everything has. bleak weather, bleak skies, bleak looks in people's eyes... maybe it's the whole transition, the big change, and it's just leaving me with such a bleak feel.

mist

i wish i was walking in a cool mist right now. it's too hot. and mist is so comforting. being in actual fog helps clear up my personal fog in my brain.

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writing since 2010 · 20 entries · 20 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means starcrosser showed up.

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20days written

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on this day 16 years ago

starcrosser wrote about kettle
“kettle. i talked to alex about kettles today. i need an electric one for the dorm. we both love the word. personally, i just love kettles. i love the name, and i love the function. my kettle is a dea…”

the words starcrosser reaches for

loveprobablesecondsnowsavedbleaksleepboxeswishcomfortboostartoddwhiskeyliquidflashbacks