starcrosser
i wish i had more things to boost my confidence. i don't really have much. i mean.. people say that i'm great, but so what. enh. fuck confidence boosts. what i really think of when i hear the world boost is those protein boost thingies they offer at Jamba Juice. don't ask why.
there's a lot that everyone needs to admit to. and then, there are things that should be admitted but aren't, and things that shouldn't that do. admittance is such a strange thing. everyone holds a different meaning for it that everyone else, and get upset over the things that are or aren't said.
i tell too many tall tales, it feels. i have big fish syndrome. something to work one, i suppose.
some days, hats just look stupid. i don't know why. but that's all i have to say on the matter. well. that, and i really want a boulder hat.
there's a lack of trees here. well, not really. but at the same time, yes. if you go to the parks, there's trees. but on the city streets, there are only lamp posts and telephone poles, mail boxes and newspaper stands, garbage and piss. a huge oak would be nice. like the one in 'shawshank redemption'. one to relax under, make love under, read under. just a big oak tree to soak up it's oxygen, and sleep.
i miss the feel of his cheek on mine. the warmth, the comfort, the love i can feel radiating from it. i love how when we are like this, he's holding me, and i can just melt in his arms, and drift off to a better place with the scent of him wafting in my make- believe breeze.
the moon and i are always in sync. when it waxes and wanes, my battery levels sway along with it. whenever i stare at it, i feel like i am greeting an old friend. i take comfort in the glow, as if it is just trying to tell me that everything will be alright.
being held tightly, overpowering any worries that might be clouding your brain, and just having that person hold you for twenty minutes without asking for anything in return leaves you slightly overjoyed. it's comfort, it's home, it's... peace.
my moods have been fairly bleak lately. everything has. bleak weather, bleak skies, bleak looks in people's eyes... maybe it's the whole transition, the big change, and it's just leaving me with such a bleak feel.
i wish i was walking in a cool mist right now. it's too hot. and mist is so comforting. being in actual fog helps clear up my personal fog in my brain.
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