StochasticOoze
Politicians are universally considered a bad idea, but we continue to have them anyway. Nobody is quite sure what it is they do, but everyone is sure that it isn't what they ought to be doing. People get very worked up when politics are misguidedly brought up at family events, which seems like something they ought to apologize for.
"What the hell are they?" he asked, looking them up and down.
"Officers," replied his wife. "Officers... of GROOVE."
The policemen threw down their hats and began to hand out glow sticks. Truly, it was a Christmas miracle.
"You have the right to remain funky."
She ate and ate and ate until there was nothing but crumbs left of the plate, and then she ate those too. She couldn't control herself, she was so ecstatic. After all this time, the cake WASN'T a lie.
He stirred under the blankets. Something was wrong. What? He reached out a hand and felt his heart skip a beat. She was gone. He shot up in bed. Oh god. She'd left him for real this time, hadn't she? She'd gotten tired of him and had taken off in the night and he deserved it, didn't he, oh god, what had he done? The door opened.
"Breakfast?"
"...Oh."