suntrebuna
below my head is my heart. and right about now it is beating unreasonably fast. i need this. this dennis character. i mean, i've been so low. low beyond any. i miss him but i want someone better. someone to actually be capable to love without any doubt.
like a lamp clamp? those are always hard to put on. like on a desk or a chair? i don't know. those things always put up a fight. but they keep there for a long time. if you coax it into doing something you want it stays. i wish people were like, i would love for people to be like that.
I live in a structured household. I've never been outside of Los Angeles. I've never been happy with the fact that I am not allowed to express myself freely. I've never been allowed to get out of this town.
To be crazy.
Whatever way you put it, what you're doing is wrong. And its fairly unattractive. Why I put you on a pedestal? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it,
However,
I do.
Don't waste your life with things of this world.
My what a word.
How can I approach you without thinking I've gone insane, or I have epilepsy. Truth is: you're everything I want in a man. Now,
approach me.
And be
mine.
its funny that the word "whole" has a completely opposite meaning than "hole" which lies within the word "whole". Do we all have a hole in wholeness? Maybe so. All I know is that I want to fix this hole as much as I want to fix you.
I want to feel whole again.
I haven't in a long while. I've felt taken advantage of. I've felt afraid. I've felt sad. I just don't want to live like this. I'm done of people expecting me to do stuff for them.
Because they don't feel whole either.
maybe instead of people used, we can help eachother. and feel whole as a community.
I wanted you.
I wanted your smile,
the way you knew what you wanted in life.
I wanted your confidence,
But humble personality.
I wanted your respect.
And trust.
And most importantly,
I wanted you to
Want me.
I hate gym.
Another excuse to get everyone in on the whole sports routine, which is not my thing.
They use it as an excuse to make kids healthier, but what does a semester class do?
Nothing, that's what.
Its pointless to have to embarrass people.
No one likes gym anyways.
I'll sit on my heels and listen to your story.
I don't think you know how much I enjoy this. talking to you. hearing you talk about your life.
I'm interested.
Please don't stop.
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writing since 2011 · 16 entries · 13 days shown up
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