thegrape
My grandfather is currently living in Spain. I miss him. And love him.
"Do you even know what we witnessed there, Sam?"
"No."
That same night I was feeling hapless.
That feeling you get when everything goes wrong.
So many things happened that night and I sensed that it wasn't going to end.
I had ran out of luck, just as I ran out of you.
I couldn't embrace the feeling of uncertainty because I always thought we were forever.
Now I know that feeling unlucky was helpful because if everything went right I would have never got to experience sadness or loneliness and those feelings are the ones that helped me understand that the little things in life matter more than you.
It seemed juvenile of his part, but I related to it.
It made me go with his flow.
It was kind of when you lay in bed and know that you are dozing off and you just let it.
It was like that, I went into a deep sleep and I knew it.
Some kind of lucid dream.
Surviving it was another dilemma.
Sometimes you just have to suck it up.
Sometimes you just can't wake up.
s.m.c. 7:53 p.m.
Just when the house got warmer, his skin got colder. Cold. Ice solid.
While I was melting, he was freezing. I don't know why.
We were in different cities but at the same time we were there. Staring at each other.
I hadn't touched him and yet, I knew how he felt, he would creak if he moved.
He was so still, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to break the ice cold silence in front of us.
Still. Lets stay like that.
Until I melt completely and cease to be visible.
Until you move and break every inch of your gloriously glossy body.
Until we collide, we won't exist correctly.
s.m.c.
I like bowties. Whatever.
The action or fact of occupying a space. I just read the definition, fascinating. I occupy every space, every indent of my ageing body.
Occupancy agaiiiin? I just wrote about it, please give me another word. I'm boreeeed! And hungry, even though I ate like three hours ago, or five?