thelump

thelump

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Sometimes after a day much too long, the ropes that hold my head in place loosen because they've been straining and creaking with the tumultuous thoughts. And I become suddenly tired of holding so much back. Something snaps and unchecked thoughts spring. I try to fall asleep quickly before they start wandering too far into places I don't want them to go.

She felt as if her veins and arteries were scarves fluttering in a wind, as if all the liquid in her body had run out and dried up. She felt empty and brittle. She felt herself breaking at the fingertips, at the soles of her feet. The cracks growing longer and wider as they traveled up and around her limbs, finally taking hold of her lungs and her heart and crumbling her organs into dust.

Every carefully chosen word, every movement, flicker of an eyelash, twitch of the finger. Everything is declared prominently. It's howling to the world bright garish information. You are dying to make a statement.

GIve me one thing that explains it. Tell me one thing that could make me understand. I need an example, otherwise my disconnected mind can't grasp exactly what you're saying. It will spin a little and half of everything will click. But without you adding an example pieces will still lay loose like leftover puzzle piecces.

I grasp and grasp and gasp a little with the effort. Yet nothing is every definalbe and conatinable. I may gry and you may try. Evenryone on the this rock that has lived in the past, in our present in their future may try. but nothing can be level and sensisvss

final

Things were ending. Buildings were cracking and hearts were beating faster. Because it was the end. Finality hung on the air likie thick dust; the tangible hand of a partner gripping yours as the story came to a close.

writing since 2008 · 20 entries · 20 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Candice showed up.

3longest streak

20days written

0.1entries / week

on this day 18 years ago

Candice wrote about evidence
“I need evidence that I lived. That I thrived and that people loved me. That I loved them. I need to have evidence that the world was something to me, I was something to the world. Because my life isn…”

the words Candice reaches for

evidenceadoremompastchangedevidenthillsendcaremiddleremembergraspproudboastdeepveins