washington
I have raised a will inside myself.
I was chopping up potatoes for dinner in the kitchen, when I came to the realization, somehow for the first time, that Mark and the kids were actually gone and making a dinner for four or setting all their places at the dinner table wouldn't bring them back. I turned around and vomited in the kitchen sink. I was going insane and I knew it. My legs gave out from under me and I sank violently to the tile floor. The smell of half digested whiskey in the sink was too much for my stomach to handle and the rest of the alcohol came out all over my apron.
The ground by the tree was wet and smelled like vomit, no one understood why it was this way, but all the same the neighborhood kids avoided this spot on their way home from school
The domination of the human species is temporary, fleeting, and irrelevant.
I watch the dominant males buying beautiful woman drinks at the bar and laughing with them and I can't help but celebrate because this is a wonderful opportunity for research. I take a sip of my drink and walk out of the corner where I have been studying the 'bar scene' habitat for the past hour and walk through the crowds of people until I reach their cluster. I hold off a minute on introducing myself to observe, "fascinating." I think, "they seem to have separated into pairs."
I feel God's power trying to crush me anytime I go to Sunday mass. Church is no place for a sinner to hide.
I would be happy to be proven wrong. I'd be eternally fucking grateful.
Are you happy? I'm uncomfortable using the word. It seems to me, to be a superficial response to cover an array of emotion. I understand words like content, exhilarated, stimulated, aroused, complacent, indifferent, and emotionally stable. Happy though is too big an emotion for me to be at ease using it without worrying I have somehow been dishonest because I did not apply it in the correct context.
time for the possibilities my friend. in a hotel room with a bottle of irish whiskey and a stereo they are almost endless.
writing since 2012 · 10 entries · 7 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Mark showed up.
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7days written
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the words Mark reaches for
donthappydinnerpossiblebelieveopenideasotherswhiskeyusingemotionsomehowbarwalkkidskitchen