akatami
Before I see her coming up behind me I wish for something more than this desolation. I think that I am all alone in the world and she is merely a mirage, a myopic vision that extends into the air but not into my heart. But then I turn and her face shines right at my shoulder, and she cannot wait to hear my voice again. My heart is free, my vision real.
Thinking through problems is something I do on a regular basis. Wandering the halls of a labyrinthine mind I feel not puzzled at the entanglement but thrilled by the power to question without opposition. I am make to question; I live to question. Puzzled cannot keep me from seeking new knowledge.
Away from home I am thrilled, not frightened. As many turn to me for guidance in this foreign land I reach out so tenderly, caressing words I had learned in theory but never practiced on the hardened ears of native speakers. Suddenly my ability to be one with the world around me took flight and I had access to the wonders of the east.
Automatons. I learned that word today and it thrills me. I love words and so I will spend my life devoted to words. Teaching them, examining them, loving them, writing them, that can be my life if I want it to be.
The bitter burn as it slides down my throat snakes out into my aching limbs and down to my curled toes. I can't take the heat, can't take the smell or the taste or the sting of its touch. Yet she told me it would be ok, told me this was my fate, so I go along with the plan.
I sit watching the people pass me by, seeking out technology much younger than me. I suffer from mildew, dust, and loneliness, even with my brothers on my side. They speak of different adventures that mine - dragons, magic, love, hate - but I can't relate. What's a philosopher going to do?
I taste you once but that is not enough. I thirst to see the thin flesh over your bony face, thirst for your sweet lips and coursing red blood that connects a heart pure as brass with mine, even more tainted than your bittersweet soul. You and I can be together
I see the top before me, rising majestically into a clear sky. The cold hasn't caught up with me yet; the trees and rocks still shelter my battered form. I hear the wind move the world around me and see the blue crests of mountains out into the distance. My determination has not wavered and so I reached the top of the 46th mountain with a sense of enlightenment.
Holding hands as we walk down the hallowed halls, ignoring the whispers and the stares, knowing that being together is quite enough, I feel connected palm to palm, heart to heart. I have all the world in my grasp when our fingers entwine. Being by your side is enough for my love.
That which surrounds us is really just empty space. You may think you see smoke or twinkling stars of the face of your loved ones but really there's nothing there at all. If you took all the nothing and added it up, side by side, you would realize how unimportant your problems are because, in the end, your existence is all a bunch of hot air.
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