charmaine
It was excurciating. To find the time to do the right thing. I knew for so long that this job was welling up inside of me, and denying it was both relieving and painful. Now that tensions is released. Undivided desire, in the moment, now. That's a good life.
It wasn't him who knew how to train me. I've always known the internal landscape, like an animal knows his woods, like a child can knows his mother, even like water knows the shape of the vessel it sits in. I came to realize that I know far more than he believes I know. And much more than he believes he knows. But I allowed him to believe his knowledge was deep, as it was the easy way to bide my time in that strange place.
The time of year typically called for a calling together of family and friends. But for us, and those around us, there was an astonishing feeling that everything that meant "family" was scattered to the four winds. Our home, traditions, each individual seemingly spread across the globe. Nothing collected but more dispersed than any other year before.
It was the season for the apparent warmth that everyone was supposed to feel. This season brought me hope, don't get me wrong, but I was also hanging on a string that made my position rather precarious. Seasonal warmth was something that, right now, I didn't have the leisure to feel.
I tried to tell her a 100 times. The risks involved were well worth it, if she had some skill and focus, coupled by strong desire to win. If there was an ounce of mediocrity in her veins in relation to the challenge, the game would overcome her instead.
It was 4 o'clock. and that didn't matter. the doomsday phone call was coming in at 5, and it wasn't going to be pretty. Peter was holding his breath. He was never one for coughing up the money that was ill spent, or in this case, ill-charged, to that one card he promised never to use.
I felt something stir within my mind, heart and stomach. But then I doubted .. maybe the whole experience was triggered by the movement of my breakfast sustenance on its way to become the blood in my body.
It was an impressive room. The ceilings, as high as they were, swept down to meet you. Through the eagerness to explore more, he tempered himself. Begging his mind to be patient he finally quelled his eagerness and and decided to feel the moment.
They realized the haze over the horizon and the clouds moving strangely in the sky. There was much time left, and hardly the space available. They figured at lease another yard might be needed to stretch out the cord and let the piece assemble.
Once the deal was presented, there was no way that the follow-through could NOT happen. The idea was ripe and the assuredness they had about it was not to be underestimated.
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