ellieeedoll
I fucking hate 50 shades of Grey.
All signs say go, go GO.
Society screaming stay,
come back, dont evolve.
Simple minded nothings.
Avoid the void.
You must
Become the void.
The silence of 6:21 am. Sunrise. Gold ribbons spinning through the windows, warm and welcome. Coffee pouring. Joint smoking. Bacon crackling. Your lips, salt water and sugar. Good morning sunshine, we've made it through the blackness again.
The look in your eyes. left a scar. all over my body. searing burning through me. through the blood vessels all the way to the red and purple wine drenched fist in my chest, scorching it black and ashy. i wont be wine again, just the bottom of the bottle old notes and tattered sour grapes.
I'm not going to write about "her violet eyes" because people think it's clever and different but let's be honest it's quite cliche. What about her violet nails? Maybe her hair or maybe the violet tea she insists on drinking every morning even on the hottest day of the year, like today. I'm sweating and she's drinking hot tea. I'm sweating and she's kept her cool as always. I'm here and she's already gone.
His looks infest my soul, I can't even breathe. He's all I want but so bad for me. Like the dirt in my hair and the scars on my legs, he'll never quite leave me. He'll always be a part of my story.
I sat there in the sand counting the spots from the sun on my legs. I was too nervous to look at him, let alone talked to him like I wanted to. Everything was different now. All those nights we spent skinny dipping off the pier seemed like something I read in a cheesy teenage romance book than my actual life. We were grown ups now. Kinda. We were 25. I hadn't seen him in 2 years since I'd joined the Peace Corp. I hadn't seen any of them, my summer family. Barely talked to them or stayed in touch. It wasn't that absurd really. It was like a different life. A different world. We connected in the summers, we came alive. When fall came we seemed to hibernate, holding the sunshine and memories deep in our hearts, only to be shared through Christmas cards, a late night drunken phone call, or a text written with emphasis, "I NEED SUMMER NOW!" But i hadn't been there in 2 years. And now he had a girlfriend. We never had boyfriends or girlfriend. We all just flitted along and played together. She wasn't even a girl from town. He had brought her from the city. She had glossy auburn hair that was clearly poured out of a bottle and a tan that was a little too bronzed to have come out our sunshine that was notorious for its sunburnt crisp skin sensations. Fuck that bitch.
Wanderlust. Traveling through the world. I can't wait to be anywhere. But I enjoy where I am. There is beauty in everything I see. The sunrise on lake michigan and falling asleep in his arms, drenched in lake water, sand, and sunburn. Summer lust.
Fireflies. Summertime. She's running around, trying to catch fireflies. Like we're little kids. That's how she makes me feel. And these little bugs, there one second and gone the next. Shiny, beautiful little bursts of light. She's my burst of light. And like those summer night bugs, she's always coming back.
There they were. White. Blinding from the light reflecting off them. I didn't touch them but somehow I knew they were cold. Icy, even. I felt the chill all over my body. I knew it was Andy. I couldn't accept it.