fishiesinthesky
I think one of my biggest fears in life is being separated from people. It haunts me, sometimes in ways that are completely not fair. Yesterday I was out walking again, watching the painted sky, the streetlights coming on, feeling the rain on my skin... it was beautiful. But I couldn't help thinking that it looked just like the night Damien died.
"Hey, I'll try if you try! Neither of us will be alone that way."
She smiled and tried to think like her best friend. Who else on earth could radiate such positivity in such dark times? The girl was unshakeable.
"Okay," came her response. This year was going to be different-- she could feel it.
It was a rather odd thing to call a girl, she thought. She'd always hated her name. You couldn't even shorten it to a cute little nickname... but, well, as long as he liked it, she supposed it was okay.
How soon is too soon to say to someone "When I'm with you for an extended period of time, my smiling muscles start to hurt"? I love the time we spend together, and I love giggling along with her while all the world lay sleeping under starlight. Nightly, there and then, we suspend our disbelief. It's my escape and hers - we're more than fine with that.
I love how we fill in each other's missing pieces. You give me a rhythm and I throw you a melody. You bring me out of my shell and I show you the joy in silence. I can be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds... and you can be the anchor that keeps me on the ground. When you're away, I miss you like the twin I never had - you're always part of me. Never forget that.
Motivation is an elusive thing. The only time it seems to find me is when I'm playing my music. And what I love most of all is playing music with other people, sharing the rhythm, driven by the beat. It's an incredible feeling! When I think about the exhilaration I feel being part of a song, something so much bigger, something complex and expressive and beautiful... well, I guess it makes sense that some of the most beautiful songs I know are harmonies.
To this day I can remember the night we became friends. It was cold and dark and neither of us really knew where we were going, but we kept trudging onward, side by side... and we've never been too far apart since. She's a wonderful girl. If you meet her, I'm sure she'll tell you that I've always done this, that, and the other thing for her, too - but that's not the whole story! Oh, no, not at all. She has always politely forgotten to mention all the times she has given me her time, her understanding and strength; she has given me the will to live when no one else could. She gave me everything.
And then, without even realizing it, I ended up giving her something in return... my heart.
I only wish she knew she had it.