jessietea
I deserve to be treated better. I guess people must believe that I deserve to be let off softly, that I'm sensitive. I'll admit, I'm sensitive, but I over analyze by such a large margin I'll be hurt any way it goes. Plus, if you just stop things I'll stop freaking out. So yeah, my relationships in a nutshell.
Some say NaNoWriMo ignores artistry. I don't think this is true. This isn't where I want to go with this.
Artistry can mean many things. The artistry required in matters of the heart is what I must learn now. This isn't helping me now, but I'll keep typing. I need to write a song.
Sinking. I am sinking into my nostalgia. Barcelona was such a high that now everything feels like shit. I guess that's like hard drugs. Hm. Fun is highly addictive then I guess. I really hate what I'm writing right now but I'm in too much pain to care. I miss them.
I'm not an early riser. I guess I could be considered one to "rise to the occasion". I don't know. I don't think I rise much. I excel and some thing, sure, but I don't think I rise.
this is crappy and I'm sorry.
Today was the last time I saw my teachers for a while. My hard-exterior english teacher gave me a big hug and told me he'd miss having me in his class. I hope that means I'm getting an A. I'm glad I won't be seeing another (regular) teacher for a while now......... although I will have teachers in Barcelona.
I learned two ways to say corner (for three different meanings) in spanish today. One was on my final, even though only the other one had been taught in class (I had a leg up because my dad taught me the other one). I feel like I'm stuck in a corner. My school is a corner. It is always the same. The situations are always the same. The people are always the same. Why can't someone join me in my lone corner? Or pull me away a la "Dirty Dancing"?
Who picks these words and where are they hiding in my room?
I'm forgetting him. I'm attempting to forget him. I'll try my best.
It's not working. I'm not good at forgetting. That's what makes me so smart. I remember.
Him on the other hand, he's good at forgetting. I mean, you must be to forget your crushes birthday in a matter of days.
Time for me to forget.
I painted my nails crackled last night. Cracked like my heart. I'm reminded of a song I liked (but hid from my friends) in the seventh grade. Potential Breakup Song by Aly and AJ. He forgot my birthday, that's why. I'm not even sure he forgot. He just didn't care.
Highly ironic, considering I saw him give a speech on how people need to care more. He's the indifferent one.
Hmm. I saw a plaid skirt today. I would have bought it if it wasn't so thick and itchy. I had plaid shorts in the sixth grade...... god were those a mistake! Plaid always seems to be a really good decision or a really shitty one. Depends on the particulars I guess. Ehh, not much to say about a style of fabric. Lines is all it is.
I saw a new chalkboard today. I see chalkboards daily (well, M-F) but I never realized that I never see a different one. It's been the same chalkboards for years. Today I took the SAT at a nearby school. I saw a new chalkboard. There was nothing truly different about said chalkboard, but it stood out to me, just as he had. It isn't often I'm around new things, I'm stuck in my bubble. When I see something (or someone) new it makes me think of the possibilities.
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