joshizm
He held her gently in his arms
in the way that you would expect
all knights to do so
except the only thing
that kept him
different
from all the other knights
wasn't the fact that
he had slain the dragon
he slain her as well.
I thought I would have it by now.
You know, the answer, the solution
And that's why I used to love math so much
because most of the time, there's an obvious way to solve
the problem
to find
your solution
I guess the way the world works isn't a lot like math
we get so many factors
that we don't consider
and we don't consider the answer
until we have all the factors.
I want to do this, with so many of my secrets.
The ones that I've kept from my family, friends, lovers, hookups, etc.
And then I think of what secret hasn't been told.
I've shared it with at least one other person, I'm sure.
And as long as that holds true,
I can't really bury a secret, can I? Not as long as another copy of it is out there.
With someone else.
So you really wonder whether or not I have secrets at all to bury, or if they're just all floating out there, waiting to be unearthed.
So much production!
But is it how much it weighs
or how much it's worth?
And how do I know what it's really worth?
To me
To you
To He
To She
To US
Mass, unaccordingly to science
Doesn't really stay constant, regardless of what THE OBJECT IS.
It should be relative.
We could have been, don't you remember?
I remember that we were
because I could see us being happy together
I said to you
and that was when you began to cry
because you could see it too
but I won't know
I should have stopped you from
walking out that door
I think there was a time
when you would think those words for me
and believe them
because I did
and didn't want to
and that's why neither of us are, any more.
Happy.
I like to think of what lies in the realm of possibility, because everything that doesn't...
Well, it doesn't exist.
I like thinking that anything is possible, or at least the younger version of myself who was told so would like to keep thinking that.
Because that's it, isn't it? As we grow, we learn more and more about what is and isn't possible. But as we grow, a part of ourselves, the young part of ourselves, will always hold onto the belief that anything and everything is possible.
Within the realm of possibility.
I should look for them, you know? Or maybe it's because I'm always looking for them that I can't tell when they actually just ARE. I guess that's symbolism, looking too hard for something that's already in front of you, pointing you in a direction you should be going but aren't.
Are you looking for them?
I'd run them
just to find you
But what's in a number?
A picture's worth a thousand
There's only one
of you
Whom I haven't yet met
But it feels like my numbers and dwindling
Waiting
Looking
Hoping
for you.
I need somebody!
They would always sing
But I'd always mean
Not just anybody!
Pleeeeeeease?
It's so true!
Can anybody find me
Somebody to love?
At least you could have one.
Actually, you'd have two.
Or more.
Relationships.
I mean,
Can't you share?
Oh wait, you are
But not with me.
Go figure that life
and relationships
Would turn out so
very like
this.
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writing since 2012 · 13 entries · 13 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Joshua showed up.
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the words Joshua reaches for
lookinginsidethinkingleastworthpossiblebrokenoutsidefixyoungnowwonderrelationshipsmeansomebodyanybody