lulutli

lulutli

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i am not forgotten! the sun shines on me today. i forgot that i left my mandolin at school. i hope its okay.

streaked down faces staring into windows and their eyes are sunken and lost, they have become people who they don't know and no one knows them, no one cares who they are. lost, alone. alone, lost.

i used to wear a bandana every day, a different color for each day of the week. and somehow i don't anymore. i guess i skipped a day, and one day turned into two, and my mom made snarky comments about bandanas being for lesbians, and so i stopped. now i wear nothing of note, nothing to distinguish me from the crowd except for a bizarre neck-tan from all of those bandanas and a smile upon my face.

a chorus of voices floated up into the air. prince william and kate middleton were married at last, and i was going back to sleep.

the woman locked twice, rechecked her locks, and then deadbolted. she peered fearfully through the curtains out into the peaceful suburban streets, her hair escaping from hastily placed curlers. 'the paranoia never ends', she thought. and then she placed a gun to her head and shot, a shot that rang out into the neighborhood but woke no one.

i've never met trailer trash, i don't think. but i've met trash, and trash sure don't live in a trailer. all of the people i know who live in trailers are quite nice, and far more classy than half of the people living in houses or mansions or apartments or penthouses (you get the picture). it isn't their fault that they live in a trailer. and it isn't like they run around in their underpants clutching cold beers and having a "weenie roast." they sit in battered kitchens drinking tea, perhaps with a cat in their lap, reading thomas hardy. random. but i want to write something every day, even if its nonsense.

i was puzzled. why not me? even when she liked girls, even when she decided to be a lesbian, she got more boys than i did. what was wrong with me? and still he doted on her, still he stuck close to her, and still she encouraged him. it was only a matter of time before she changed her mind and snapped him up, leaving me (the best friend) to watch in silence as she stole one more facet of my very self, my core, my being.

i waited for the riddled sky to be solved again by the sunrise. those aren't my words. they're elvis perkins's words.

writing since 2011 · 23 entries · 21 days shown up

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on this day 15 years ago

you wrote about lightning
“lighting cuts the sky in half, and you are on one side and i am on the other. separated by a flash, a slice, a fork of light-- far apart but still together.”

the words you reach for

nowlostaloneloveeyesdeadmatterwaitedtrailertrashlivefacesdisenchantedjumpbelovedhonest