midnightisforevermine
When I think of a bench I think of peace. Of sitting with my lover, my best friend, my everything. Sometimes I think of trees. Or snow. Or nothing. It's so simple to go to a park and sit there. I think of walking around the bench. Sometimes i think of old people feeding birds
We repeat the same routines in different ways - it all seems different everyday. I repeat my thoughts when i forget something. I repeat what others say in an argument to throw it in their face. I say the same things over and over when people don't listen. My mom repeats what she says to me.
I punish myself all the time, but people punish me all the time. I hate this right now. I punish myself for having so much pride but yet i dont ever end this punishment that could possibly kill me. This life is a punishment. The friends I choose are a big punishment because they all have made mistakes with me - push me away. I'm the punishment for everyone else in life.
Elastic - stretching? opening something a little more to allow something smaller to get in - your heart. Our heart. We stretch out more than we are supposed to to love those who probably don't love us back. We outstretch ourselves more than we should - but it is all for good - because even though you go through it all, karma comes back <3
I wanna lock myself in. Sometimes I don't even wanna come out. I want to be to myself - alone, sometimes. Locking myself out wouldn't help me - but that would mean i could connect with myself a little more. I hate being alone - but hate to be with people because they tend to judge too much. I want to find out who i am instead of hiding so much. I'm a walking paradox. I don't know who I want to be - i just wanna be free. I sometimes wish there was no lock.
The one thing that controls other things. Looks over things. Decides what really goes DOWN. ME. Like a boss - boss around, push around, order.
Order, and power. I like power. Without power we would just be at a corner. I like power.
Power is what most of us seek for. Being in control and always being right. Taking care of things. I take care of things. And i do it right. Who ever is THE manager, things go the right way -- all the time.