rainingviolet
i wear earrings all the time. it's the one thing i can barely resist buying when i see them at the store. i always notice my friends' earrings. but if you think about it earrings are kind of weird. they're decorations attached to hooks that go through small holes in your ears. who thought up that idea?
my temper. doesn't exist. not until later. you do something awful and i stand there in shock. it brews in my mind. steeping like tea. and then it boils over. and then i want to hurt. then i know what i should have screamed at you instead of standing there silently like an idiot. then i know that you've wronged me, after it's too late.
in the beginning, i didn't know who you were. a friend of a friend. a friendly face. and now i know. the more i find out about you, the more i hate you, and somehow, the more i love you. i wish i knew what i meant and i wish i knew what you were thinking. but i don't. the frustration changes to loneliness and i get nowhere.
still, it's not fair. you can't tell someone else what to do. i wish i could argue better but i can't. too many thoughts, opinions, arguments, form in my mind, and i can't decide which one would convince you best. you aren't even like me. you don't even know me. you use your priveledged opinions to back your argument, but still, you do not know what you mean.
who lives in a pineapple under the sea? spongebob squarepants. that song has haunted my childhood. annoying me every time a television is turned on by a child. i hate that show. it's pointless and i never thought it was particularly funny, yet that song is, for some reason , the first thing that comes into my head when i see the word "sponge".
police force. i don't like police. they're frightening. not sure who they work for. i just see them on tv, yelling at protesters, hurting them. arresting my friends in the wee hours of the morning. blue shirts. dark. they eat donuts a lot, which i suppose is what makes them so rotund and formidable.
umbrella terms. queer. genderqueer. lgbt+. i fit under all of these. at the moment i'm not quite sure where. all i know is that i'm not straight. and i'm not just your average girl. always changing, always confusion. who am i?
silk sheets. silk ties. soft and classy. yet somehow so distant. impersonal. shining away the comfort. my curtains look like silk. i put them there to keep out the light.
i want answers. i feel like she's been keeping them from me. pretending they don't exist. ignoring the fact that i asked the questions over and over again, like she doesn't even care about how she hurt me. i want to know why she ignored me, why she screamed at me, what was the reason for those hurtful text messages. and yet she remains silent.
level in a videogame. they have so many. at least that's what i've seen from watching my brother play them. each one looks the same but in different colors. so repetitive. i get frustrated trying to play videogames. i just don't see the point of sitting around, really doing nothing, just trying to shoot imaginary people. find imaginary animals.
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