raydeeoh
He felt himself begin to waver, as he stood by the window. What if he fell forward? What if the window just opened and he fell forward. Leaning, he looked down and saw the cement. How did anyone stand at the top of a building and decide "Yep, this is a good idea." Did they pray they had a heart attack? Of course, if they believed prayer could work, they wouldn't be there. David was not a religious man. He took a step back...and then another.
He hated watching people put on eyeliner. He held his breath actually, waiting for them to poke themselves in the eye. Then, they would make it all run off anyway because their eyes watered. But, watching her put on eyeliner was different. She was quick, sure, like she had been born doing it. It was over in a second, and then she was gently putting on eyeshadow with her finger, something that fascinated him, something that made him pay attention.
"Maybe it's severe depression" She said as she came back to the bed, naked and handing him some crackers. David shook his head.
"No, I'm just a boring guy." The girl, Lilly was her name, sat down on the edge, munching on crackers. They were silent for a long time, and David stared at her intensely. She was lovely in a strange way, too pretty to be with a guy like him.
"Have you tried weed?" She said with a grin.
She had like, twenty scarves.
"Why do you have so many of these things?"
"I like to hide my neck."
"Why? Your neck is fine."
"Because if anyone ever tries to garrote me, I have a chance."
"I'd ask why someone would garrote you, but, nevermind."
It wasn't that the statement itself was wrong, but the feelings that came along with it. It just felt uncomfortable, like too tight of pants.
"What? I just said I love you."
"Yeah, I know. I don't think it's right." He shifted, shaking his head. "I'm not lovable."
And he wondered 'Why had she said that?' She was looking at him, and he saw she did not realized the complete...oddness of what she had said.
'What? What's wrong?' Crap. He had tried not to show that he was irked. Tried not to show that those simple little words cut into his skin like fiberglass. Itching and irritating, impossible to get out.
What was it that he was laying on? Wool? Who used wool anymore? T.H.E.Y provided nice clean sheets, sterile and smooth. The material was itchy, but soft at the same time. Warm, comforting. He didn't like it whatsoever. Comfort was what had brought man to ruin, so said the texts. He lifted his head, and saw her smiling face.
Her fragrance wasn't at all enchanting. She wore only a hint of perfume, probably left from the day before. But it was that lack, that lack of caring that made her so inticing. Made you want to bury your nose in her neck and breath her in until there was nothing left, just so the world did have any chance. She looked up with a smile and laughed, mocking my expression.