Rebekah
Bargain
To gain for less
Bargain
Insane
In vain?
Trampled
By bargains
I never thought that I liked bargains. I mean, really, I sound stupid. I LIKE BLACK FRIDAY AND NOONE WILL TAKE ME TO GET A BARGAIN!
The lining of his coat is worn and old
Homeless and cold
He can't find a silver lining
He can't find a way to alter-
His past, his flaws
All those wrong turns
It's all churning inside him
But the lining of his coat is still worn
The people with their shopping bags still make a wide berth
Not knowing all the lonely man wants, needs
For Christmas is warmth
A second glance
Another chance
And time
Time to become visible again
To become stable again
To become able.
Somebody?
Anybody?
Nobody...
An empty body
Alone on the pavement
Enslaved by nobody
She is just another body
She could have been somebody
Anybody but a dead body
Dear me
My tear ducts are screwed up
My hair stands up (overwhelmed by static)
My mind is cracked
My soul sports ashen holes
I am somehow more than whole (1 and 1/2 perhaps?)
I swallowed my feet like an ouroboros it's tail
But I would not say it's over
Or that I even failed
I could never be righter nor wronger
Sometimes I feel outside myself
Like am looking at a strange artifact on a dusty shelf
and I want to break it (me) because it makes me uncomfortable
looking inside my shell of instability
I'm cRaCkEd
I speculate what I might lack
Or that maybe it's what others lack?
They try still to instill it into me
As if they can pour what they wish of me
Like an empty transparent glass on a dusty kitchen shelf
I am already plenty full I say
I want nothing of that vile liquid
Or of your filthy smelling pills
I am not ill
No just not empty headed
They won't listen
Perhaps a fist would instill it?
My life
My soul
Desolated by the careless fools that rein
This wicked destructive world
My mind
My heart
Torn apart
A state of ruin
Far from the jubilating moments of my earlier youth
The fetal position
A familiar emotional position of mine
I sit up terrified at night to ponder the chaos of mankind
I close my eyes and watch powerless
As the seams of virtues and morals unthread mercilessly
The sense of order that use to run along side the dark liquid in our veins gone
I guess we let them all seep out one by one with the blood we punctured out of our own warm winding veins
So destructively
So purposely
Mankind cannot get much worse
Don't press the big red button
Ask questions first
Push aside rejection
Approval is optional
Not deadly
Or threateningly fearfully important
How quaint their little busy lives are
We are far from hopeless
And stronger then we ever knew we could be before
We are aching
Shivering in pain
Quivering in a rare rawness of naked beauty
We are not like them
We do not like them
We still strive to be like them
A can of Campbell soup
Sold and made by the thousands
Stamped proudly with a brand name logo
Made up of all the same 'artificial and natural' ingredients
The world is spinning faster then it did ten minutes before
Gravity is a state of mind
I allow myself to float away
Anything but graceful
But freedom heals me despite that
As I break away
Black against the evening sun
I think I begin to believe
I cannot be the only one
who watches the world unthread
But does not turn to death as a savior
Fighting is one more breathe
Fighting is flying instead of countless streaks of bleeding cuts
I cannot be alone
There are others battling their own demons
screaming cries of war
Like the few that fought then flew so freely
So victorious before my own lone flight
latitude
my kind of attitude
not to be rude of course
but I rather be crude then
eluding or alluding
Backtrack?
I need a time machine for such
to erase everything that I ever did wrong
I can't simply backtrack
desperation
a feeling
a terrible terrible feeling
desperate people do
desperation things
steal from me
lie to me
kill me
then justify it
desperate times call for
desperate measures
desperate people do desperate things
does this really justify it?
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