taylortopm
you know what feels stolen? innocence. of everyone. of you and me and every other struggling teenage fool out there.
She's off having affairs with someone else, a new best friend, her stupid college boyfriend. It feels like being cheated on--like being cheated out of friendship. I forgot what it feels like to miss her.
i wanted you at the beginning of summer and as time went on i thought i wanted you more, and the guilt got heavier, and suddenly i found myself caught between you and a sister, and i just couldn't choose. now i know better and you're not worth it and i was naive and stupid.
now i want to fix things between another sister but we're so broken and she refuses to see it. now i just want a solution.
I have a chat with my old friend, the Past
it regales me with tales
colored with sweet memories
filtered through time
but none less vivid.
It tells me stories
that I can't let myself forget.
Calling me away. Away from here. To a beach. Or the tip top of a lighthouse. Overlooking everything. Away from my life. Take me far away. I need to leave everyone behind. Nothing is right here. The future is calling. Calling me away.
MY LIFE.
my heart feels like a wasteland too
like it's been trampled on
and for years
and years
all the crap that no one wants
gets dumped into it
my mind is a wasteland
filled with painful thoughts
stupid thoughts
useless thoughts
hurting thoughts
i am a wasteland
console me
breathe me (like the song)
take my tears.
sometimes i feel INconsolable.
like i'm the only one that does any consoling.
like i'm the only one that can console myself.
just me.
sometimes only my tears can console me.
or my journal.
those nice empty pages, just waiting for me to unload.
or sometimes i just sit there.
and let the silence console me.
A cacophony of sound.
A melding of voices.
The choir singing out to God from the choir pit.
Angels singing on high.
The songs of birds sitting outside my window at the break of dawn.
Two soulmates' hearts singing out to each other.
The rustling of leaves in tandem with the wind.
A singer pouring their soul out with words.
trailer park
oh trailer park
you've done no good
for me
take your gravel
and your broken dreams
i'll trade them in for my future
trailer park
oh trailer park
take your gravel
i'm taking this road
to someplace promising.