theflowerchild

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It means nothing, I realize, nothing at all. Sometimes it hurts more than I'd ever want something to, and sometimes it just feels numb. Recently, it stings a little, more like soap in the eyes rather than a bee. You hold my hand, entwine your fingers with mine, and your nails leave indents like crescent moons on my skin. "Lie to me," I say. Your lips twitch, and you respond with, "I love you."

entwined

succeed

All I ever wanted in life was to prosper. I was never good enough, never, though I tried so hard. They always expected so much of me--just one perfect grade, one solo, one lead in a play, but nothing. I was never, ever good-enough. Never. It hurts, never being able to succeed for someone you want to impress the most--and that's all I ever wanted, to succeed and impress them.

repeat

I don't understand you, it's all too fuzzy. You keep talking, and talking, but the words don't flow like they used to. I barely hear you screaming, what on earth are you saying? Are you okay? Are you functioning? I no-longer understand you, what you want, what you mean to say, or what you need. Everything is a blur. Repeat yourself, please?

repeat

You keep repeating yourself, over and over again. When someone keeps going on, and on, and on, the words seem to lose their meanings; as if, no matter what you say, I won't listen any longer. I try and understand what you're trying to tell me--what does it mean? Why are you saying this? Did I do something wrong? Can I fix it? But I can't. All you want is for me to change, and you go on and on about what I do wrong. What am I doing wrong?

thread

Thread falls of a spool like liquid, straight into a thin, sharp needle. This incredibly thin, sharp, silver stick penetrates fabrics, paper; virtually anything your little heart may desire. You can create clothing, or designs, embroidery--anything, can you imagine? By just one, little, coloured thread.

writing since 2011 · 7 entries · 4 days shown up

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on this day 15 years ago

Nikki wrote about repeat
“You keep repeating yourself, over and over again. When someone keeps going on, and on, and on, the words seem to lose their meanings; as if, no matter what you say, I won't listen any longer. I tr…”

the words Nikki reaches for

handsometimesunderstandwronghurtsthreadthinsharpyourselfwordslongermeansayingtalkingsucceedimpress