amimee

amimee

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She needed it every morning, and today - she was going to use the mug she hadn't dare touch in decades. She'd seen it online and it jogged her memory. Today, she would reach the tallest shelf, reach to the back of it and use the coffee mug that had been in her possession since he'd died.

hide

They met for their usual morning coffee. She knew the question was coming, and this time there was no point in avoiding the questions she knew would follow. She didn't want to hide what had been in plain sight this whole time.

I just didn't have the energry to deal with the sulks today. It had been a long week. To be honest, it had been a long year. And the sulks always happened on a friday, when he'd realised he wouldn't be able to drink. tonight though, there was drink and I had no energy to argue.

cart

Well, as the saying goes - don't put the cart before the horse, but here he found himself doing just that. He was making decisions and not even thinking about the impact, the fall out the decisions would have. And then wondering why all around him was falling apart and just not making sense.

Placing the shovel in its place, he smirked as he thought of the conversation earlier in the evening. "what was the difference between a spade and a shovel?". Well, words let to a bit of a heated debate, and then the next thing he knew

clown

That's all he was to her - a clown. He had tried to win her over, her friendship, but his constant fumbling and second-guessing meant that his words just wouldn't come out in the right order. She dismissed him for the fumbler that he was. And he couldn't blame her.

It really wasn't a good system, in fact it was quite unhealthy. But, it was her choice to bottle it all in and hope that time would allow her to forget and perhaps even move on.

As she sat in the sagging armchair that she'd had all her married life, Vanessa glanced out the window to see the magnolia tree start to blossom. she didn't think she'd be around for it again, and yet her she was.

We all need to roll up our sleeves, she called out. the water was coming in from so many directions - the floor, the ceiling, through the cracks in the window. The whole thing was quite hopeless, but while she thought she could save them, roll up their sleeves they did. Until they drew their last breath.

She likes to prepare her outfit the night before. It kept her feeling in control. the same way she kept her room, neat, orderly, and in control. Her outfit was laid out carefully on her chair, her shoes under it so as not to appear messy.

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writing since 2008 · 233 entries · 232 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Amimee showed up.

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232days written

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on this day 15 years ago

Amimee wrote about half
“Where do you even begin to tell the story so that a balanced view point is heard? When you only understand half the stor, the other side - so reluctant to speak up and have their voice heard? Patienc…”

the words Amimee reaches for

nowwordshomemorningdooreyescomingsimplywindowheadsittingstopsatwholehearfar