aurarayne

aurarayne

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Like clockwork, the arrival of autumn prompts a spirit of quiet reflection. I watch the leaves cascade gently to the ground and occasionally I wonder how you are. The flames of love have long since fallen into eternal sleep and the wind blows a small cloud of ashes by my face. The moment passes, and the faces fade back into blissful indifference.

I'm missing you, baby. Up all night going crazy. Esto no me gusta.

There must be a reason why, whenever we compete, the rest of the world vanishes into the intensity of each other's gaze. Why our hearts race and we are filled with an almost maniacal ecstasy. The heat of opposition bears an uncanny resemblance to the fire of long-forgotten desire. What a fitting tribute as we celebrate your coming union, and a silent acknowledgement of the fact that, in a different world, it might have been us exchanging vows.

A beautiful mosaic, tiny little pieces of someone's heart which they have chosen to share with you. Or just some pretty swell tunes.

The simplest of events are the ones with the most profound effects. This is what I've learned. The dream that started the whole thing came back to haunt me with its simplicity. I simply cannot. It simply never worked. I must simply ignore it. It's simply over. It may be 1916 in your head, but it's 2012 in mine.

Grinning from ear to ear, his small hands slowly reeled in his catch. As he pulled the little sunfish out of the water he presented it to me proudly and I took it from him, full of praises. From the end of the dock I could see his father watching us, smiling.

I just ate an entire box of cookies in less than 24 hours. My only souvenir is an empty box and a bewildered stomach.

denim

This word has been used before. I know, because I distinctly remember what you wrote in relation to it. An ode to someone who was not me. And thinking of that causes the beast inside me to stir. It reminds me of what I used to be, what I still could be, if I were to put aside my lamp. You remember her, because you can still feel her claws tearing your heart to pieces. Bottling up her pain and fury until all she could do was hunt you down and eat you alive. Just like animals. Good song...I digress. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I could not find healing in time to spare you the terrible wounds I dealt you. All I can do for you now is love you from far away, and cover you with the prayers that I could never fulfill.

I was thrown off the horse before I even knew I was supposed to ride. Curled up on the floor holding my shattered bones, I trembled and shivered as the sweat dried on my skin and left me frozen. As time went on, I knew I had only three choices: hurt myself, hurt others, or face my terror and get back on that damn horse.

My body is a mere canvas on which misery can display its artwork.

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writing since 2012 · 129 entries · 125 days shown up

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on this day 13 years ago

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“Stirring, he yawned and took me in through half-open eyes. I could see his confusion as the memories of the previous day took a moment to flood back in, before he grinned and flung himself back on th…”

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