battlecry
He wanted to contribute to the conversation, but it would cost him. If he opened his mouth, they would know instantly how little he knew of the subject at hand. Rejection on the spot.
I know the only way to reach what I want most is to pass through all of this endless toil. There is no escape tunnel under the muck. I need to continue on. Through is the only way out.
She fidgeted in the ruffles of her elaborate gown under the pressure of his question, not in fear but as a warning. The same way a bird puffs up its feather plumes to seem more menacing.
Following the crest of a beautiful life
there will be no word
strong enough to
coach that wave back
from its destined return
to a weak
beginning.
I'd like to say things can start off easy, and maybe sometimes they do. Generally, though, beginnings take time. In my case, scribbles and anger. When words can't loom together in perfect pattern, everything just starts to fall apart. Sleep is the first to go.
In the days leading up to it, I guess the signs were obvious. But hindsight will always be 20/20 and there is never enough soap to clear away the past.
I'm not giving up. This is a moment of stillness; do not mistake weaknesses in clean clothes as something easily bested. Mud and shit won't spoil me. I'm speeding up. This isn't enough for you to trip into checkmate and wait for the storm to reach over my head. Bring on the rain, I'll race you.
One came on TV and I got excited, "I wanna see tornadoes for real, chase 'em around." But he shook his head. "There's a lot you don't know about that storm. It's probably destroying houses. It could be killing people."
I'm trying to be better than I was, I'm trying every day. To not let sounds sap strength from each vertebrae. Like laughter in my peripherals, or words that turn me into a newborn weakling just looking for some comfort.
Without music pouring from oversized headphones, his memories would still be just that. But when he felt the first chords of the song start to form, a blue-grey cloud conjured over what was, seconds earlier, a very good day.
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