booksavvyb
I look at you closer than ever before, yet you are further away then ever. The lens is between us and you build up a wall. Layer upon layer of wishes of who you were, and how you look, and who you will be pile on top of you and bury the person I try so desperately to capture.
Red flyer wagon. It's funny how an image, an icon, stays in your memory forever. Marissa and I pulling an old squeaky wagon to the park. Filled with books, crayons, paper, blanket, snacks, and jump ropes. Adventures to be had as we took turns pulling up and down hills, over side walk cracks, twisting and turning, the sunlight tumbling through tree tops on a summer day.
His collar was crisp and white. The fold line was distinct and sharp. His stripped tie peeked out at just the right moment in front of his neck where the two top buttons came together. His tie continued it's dissent down the front of his shirt splashing it with bright bold color. His collar was crisp and white.
His color was crisp and white. The fold line was distinct and sharp. The striped tie peeked out at just the right moment in front of his neck where the two top buttons came together. His color was crisp and white.
I need more plans. I love plans and I don't know how to live without them. Lists, lines, paper, alarms, days, pens, weeks, clocks, months it's all in order. I need future plans, plans to tackle today, this moment, this week this life. Once it's all in order we can begin.
I hing on a point of change in my life. I am in between so many things, swinging back and forth from possibility to opportunity. The question is not what will I do next, but how do I choose how do I decide who I am to become? What is it I want? Each motion, each swing from here on out has such potential to affect who I become and the pressure is on.
Ew. Is the first thought that comes to my mind. Witches and dirt. I'm over it. I'm done trying to get it all together and never get dirty. Im tired of everything and dirt and witches and moles.
I love to console you, but I hate when you need it. I never want you to feel sad, but when you do I will fill your world with light and love and be sure that you are safe. I want you to know that no matter how dark it may be I will be your light and I will venture into that darkness with you and for you.
Dance crews. I miss being on my dance "crew" aka high school dance team. I miss being fit and I miss feeling good about myself. I miss being strong and I miss being able to express myself in a world that was only mine. I miss dance.
All I can think about is Shakespeare and the pressure of being an english lit major. Read, read, read. Write, write, write. Study, study, study. Make yourself better, make yourself smarter but you'll never be enough for the education system.
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