bshenton
I unintentionally have asthma - every time I see you I lose my breath. Please, be my inhaler; give me breath in my lungs once more. Be the air in my lungs, the pine smell floating under my nose, the crisp mountain atmosphere. Fill my lungs.
My mind is a watchtower, from high up I can see my emotions scurrying around attempting to make me complete. I am incomplete; I am a work in progress.
The most important thing in life is to reflect on what you have done. Reflect on your personality, your ambitions, your loves, your fights, your past in general. Reflection is most effectively done in an attitude of stillness. That way, your brain can think. It can love and be at total peace, able to see exactly what you have done with your life and the people in it; reflect.
Whether or not I go through with this isn't up to me. It's up to my soul. It's up to God. What is happening to me? I can't even think straight anymore. My mind is a convoluted mess. I'm a mess. What is happening. Why. Whether or not I go, just remind me that you love me and you care.
It is a miracle that I'm even here at school. God provided enough money for me to attend BIOLA and I could not be more thankful. God is good, He is always good. Because of Him I am able to achieve some of my greatest dreams and aspirations, to participate in Torrey and to experience BIOLA. I love it here; I love the people, the place, the adventure, the things we do. God is good, He is always good.
Your love. It smothers me, makes me not want to breath anything else. It's like I'm wearing a gas mask and only your love is filtered inside. Give me your love, I don't want to be chasing a ghost any longer. I'm tired of being alone. Give me your love. Smother me.
writing since 2012 · 7 entries · 7 days shown up
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lovegodmindbreathreflectdonelungstrackthirstpeacewaterbiolaablewhetherhappeningmess