cbarton
I know I've been shown how to get better so many times before. I know there's been demonstration after demonstration of people telling me to be stronger, just eat more, just work out more, just stop doing that to yourself, start doing this instead... Then you'll be fine. That's what they say, that's what they always say. But there's a difference between being showing and knowing how to do it. And that's what I'm still working on.
The way in. The entrance... You sometimes don't really know what you're walking into either, do you? You don't know what might be behind that door. You can never pretend to be fully prepared because really, are we ever ready for anything completely? Even if you think you are, you might not really be. So I guess that's a good enough reason to just go for things. Just walk through the door. Because you might never truly be completely ready.
There's only so much a person can take before they fall apart, I think. Only so much cruelty, only so much hurt. But isn't that what should make us a civilised society and not just an angry, unlawful riot of a population? Our ability to understand when someone has reached breaking point? I think it has to be. I think it should be, at least, a founding factor.
Clint is no stranger to medical procedure. he finds himself often in the medbay hooked up to top dosage painkillers that could probably knock out a horse. Sometimes he wonders how he got into this position - what the hell happened that he'd become a top assassin, a top fighter... This was never how he imagined his life to be when he was a kid.
But in a way, he was glad it did.
There's a lot of technology at SHIELD - some of which Clint understands, some he doesn't' He doesn't even pretend to know what he's doing half the time - he just makes do. The new sonar kit though, has him stumped. It's something he doesn't particularly like and something he doesn't even want to use.
Clint has never been one for decorations - his bedroom is basic. Simple. He doesn't like much extravagance. He does have a number of interesting objects in his room though - little things he's picked up on missions and generally travelling; little trinkets with stories behind them - little things with meaning.
Everything has it's story to tell, everything has a purpose.
It's strange - being part of a team. It's not bad, just new. Clint's not sure how he feels about that - he's not used to taking orders or just being a crew member. He's always been more than that. He's always been on top of things. But now...? Now he's expected to just play nice and get along with everyone and save the world over and over and over...
And he's not entirely sure he's ready for that. But that's the thing. He has to be.
writing since 2012 · 7 entries · 7 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Clint showed up.
4longest streak
7days written
0.5entries / week
the words Clint reaches for
topreadyclintsurenowbehindpretendsometimesdoorcompletelydemonstrationstrangeteamclint'stakingorders