chelseataylor09
The radio plays nothing but static now.
I miss the sound of your voice.
It connected me to you somehow.
I know you're singing those words to some other girl, half way across the world.
But
to me
in those tiny moments
you were talking to me.
But now
there is
nothing
but static.
It didn't make any sense. His way of looking at the world, his way of looking at everything. He was so stubborn and angry and he left such a bitter taste in my mouth. I hated him and I hated his selfish, arrogant viewpoint. I wanted to know what had made him so jaded, why he was so sad.
Long hair, satin dress, beautiful eyes that sparkled in the light. She was elegant in every way and I was so envy of everything she had and I terribly lacked. She was funny in all the right ways, smart when it mattered, and sweet when she needed to turn it on. I hated her because she was perfect. I wanted to be perfect.
Skies the limit, right? But then why am I stuck on the ground? Why are my feet sinking into the muddy mixture while those around me climb higher and higher up the ladder of life? I want to go higher. I want to be higher. I want to be anything but who I am right now stuck on this ground.
I turned around, trying to escape the growing crowd that was forming around me. I just felt so trapped, so caught in the riot. This was insane. Nothing would ever get done if all we ever did was fight. Fighting is what caused this mess to begin with and we were so sure that fighting is what would solve it? I was then pushed to the ground accidentally, I'm assuming, and my face slammed into pavement.
You're my other half. You're the only thing that makes sense. I've ran away from it for years and you know what? I don't want to run anymore. I want to stay right here. With you.
I tried not to look him in the eyes. They held all the evidence I needed to know that he didn't love me. He couldn't love me. I was just a picture of his past, an old photograph fading away. I would never be what needed, what he wanted. That was harder than anything else, really. The fact that he didn't need me, even though I desperately and irrevocably needed him.
The shipping port was empty that dreadful morning. It was empty and it was quiet. I found his ship without trouble. He said it was the bright blue one near the edge of the dock. He was in a chair reading a book. I called his name and he smiled at me, a beautiful and fearless smile. I loved him. God I loved him so much and I knew I had so much left to love him with as well.
I crouched behind the tree, terrified to stand up and see him. He hated me. And he had every right to. Here I was, hiding from the only boy I had ever loved. But this was the way it had to be. This was the way it ended up. And it hurts like crazy to think I will never again be apart of his life in the way that I want to be but, that's life. You take it or you leave it.
Average. What everybody believes they are. Come on, you know you do. You know you feel like you will never be enough. Like everything you are is not enough, that you will never be enough. But let me tell you something, we are so much more than enough, so much more than average. We are special, we are above and beyond everything we have ever felt before. We are perfect in every single way because this is the way god made us and this is the way we were intended to be.