chlorophyllbunny
Sharp. Pain. Blood staining my thigh where his talon dragged down my leg, a punishment.
Looking back now, I realise I did what needed to be done. He was an insect, a parasite that was slowly sucking the life out of me. Even when I craved that from him because it meant he was paying attention.
It's the oldest, most basic of instincts. Something we crave, something we loathe, something we feel is as necessary as air but is actually nowhere near that vital. Yet still, we all strive to feel it, at least once.
He was the complete opposite of me. The life of the party. The one who could draw every eye in a room just by entering it. Maybe that's why we could never last.
He never wrote anything the way it should be written. The note was all in shorthand, choppy sentences and fragments of thoughts that I could never seem to put together into anything that made sense.
He really was the best I ever had. There is no one on this earth who can compare to him, and yet... He was cast in the perfect role, nominated to be the one who made my world come crashing down.
I am deaf to every word he speaks, every pretty lie that falls from his lips. I refuse to listen any longer.
I never thought it would come to that day. The ties that bound us seemed too strong to ever break... Everything eventually comes apart though.
I used to worship him. He was as sacred to me as the saints are to Catholics, a hallowed object made to be revered and adored. I still wonder sometimes what changed.
Just a tiny piece of him was all I wanted. A sliver of his attention, to know that I truly did matter.
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writing since 2012 · 20 entries · 20 days shown up
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