ellie8699

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Nobody understood me. Nobody felt the way i felt. I was alone and felt like dying. Like diving into the dark dull depths of the black sea. I felt alone and nobody would or ever could understand that... Understanding was first knowing then listening then understanding the situation... but nobody could... shame... i was damned...

under

So under that narled old tree stump where the spiders crept, where the wind lashed against the bare weathered roots, where people never dare to enter. Under there is where it lay... Deep deep under there...

stood

I stood and the time tuck slowly... Tick tock. Just standing there with complete and utter bordom in my eyes. Oh, just another day in this long summer where i'm alone. I carried on standing in silence.

fallen

Fallen and dying. at least its a brave way to go, being shot i mean. I'm strong, i can die like a solider... I'll see my family up there in heaven right? I will... I'll let it take over.... bye world

blast

Boom... My head shook. My body tembled. What was that? Am i dead? Do you think when your dead? Oh noooo.... i'm dead. Oh, hang on... I was sleeping.. I'll just wake up. Simple.

writing since 2010 · 5 entries · 5 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Ellie showed up.

5longest streak

5days written

7entries / week

on this day 16 years ago

Ellie wrote about fallen
“Fallen and dying. at least its a brave way to go, being shot i mean. I'm strong, i can die like a solider... I'll see my family up there in heaven right? I will... I'll let it take over.... bye world”

the words Ellie reaches for

nobodydeadalonedyingstandingdeepunderstandingboomheadshookbodytemblednoooohangsleepingwake