foreverfloating
the first thing most people would think of would be a game controller.
or maybe even a remote controller.
not me.
i think about a button (a magical, mystical button) that can control your life.
my life sucks. i'd like a controller for it.
I'm writing you this letter on a whim. Hoping, no, begging for you to read this. Because I love you more than you can comprehend, I worship your opinions more than you can understand.
Please, oh please, take me back.
It's funny that the word of the day is wake, because I am exhausted right now. I don't want to be awake at all. I want to go to sleep, to crawl under the covers of my warm bed for the rest of my life and just slip into dreamland.
Being awake means nothing but stress and grief. I have too many assignments, too many tests, too many worries and obligations. When I'm not awake...that's when I'm happiest.
Blotches. Wow, that's...an interesting word.
Well when I think of blotches, I think of paint splattered in blotches across a wall. I think of an artist, deep in thought, using the world as his canvas as he splatters blotches of life onto it.
Most of all, though, I picture love and happiness. Spiraling out into blotches of nothingness and everything.
Ragged. Wow, that's an interesting adjective. Well, to start with, sweaters can be ragged if you wear them out too much. I guess ragged could mean "well loved" in that sense, because a well-worn sweater that becomes ragged means that it was well-loved.
I guess ragged could also be bad. Like, a ragged old woman standing on the street. But she's ragged for the complete opposite reason of the sweater: she isn't well loved at all.
Ragged is one of those words that goes to both extremes: loved and not loved at all.
It's hard to support people all the time. I mean, they're always saying how much they need your help with things. But it never really adds up to anything.
Of course, I support my friends in everything that they do. I help them with their homework, I cheer them on at games, I high five them with a huge smile every time they succeed.
But, it's difficult to be the person holding everybody else up, because after a while you start to crumble and fall.