Glitterz
The fatigue takes over. My body and my life. I don't ever have the strength to do anything anymore with the dull aches and tiredness that could flare up at any moment.
Society. That word can mean so many things as it has so much associated with it. It can have good feelings, prideful feelings but sometimes society is something awful. Its the thing against you, your worst enemy.
You live and learn that's what thy say. But are they ever sure that it's really the best way? because from what I've learned so far is that the world will only leave you with a broken heart, bruises and scars.
The kids were all playing in the yard and I felt at peace. Knowing they were all safe and having fun, it was good for them to see them acting normal after all that happened. It makes me so happy to know that they can move on from this so easily. Me on the other hand, it's not so easy. I wasn't as sheltered from everything. They will get to find out about the rest later but for now it's my burden to carry and it's their job to be children.
Thinking too hard is one thing I've always had a problem with, pink or blue? here or there? then or now? I over analyze every little detail of everything causing myself lots of confusion and insecurity over everything. It also makes me extremely unsure of what I'm doing. I always, always, always second guess what I'm doing. Thinking causes me to see what I do wrong in everything, how I messed something up but I can't ever see the positive.
I just ran into the wall... not a literal wall... the metaphorical one. Where it just kind of hits you at once. Everything catches up with you. Physically and emotionally too. Everything just falls apart on me all at once and when I'm all alone. I have people to call at 3 am when I could break down but I never do. Breaking down isn't always an emotional outburst sometimes...sometimes its like being swallowed into a big black abyss and not wanting to get out.
I'm such a baby. Pathetic and hiding from life, too afraid of the problems I see. Always running from them and hiding from them. When did life become so hard? I miss not noticing the stares. Not feeling the hurt from the words people use.
Waking up from the murky darkness she peered around the room to see a person in the usually empty chairs. "Who are you," she asked the visitor. "I am an old friend of your parents," he replied.
popularity is the one thing she had always searched for, she wanted to be one of the it girls the trendsetters. but that just landed her at rock bottom she found the hard way that life isn't always the way you imagine it.
Why does everyone always think I am responsible for taking care of them when I can barely get everything of my own done. It's always the same, "Ugh why didn't you bring this..." "You forgot to come and get me for that..." everything you do is now my "responsibility."
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writing since 2013 · 26 entries · 23 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Glitz showed up.
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the words Glitz reaches for
nowfamilycountrylargechildhappenedbrokenforcedjobsizesocietyhardsometimeschildrensupposedsure