hdwhhs
what do I know?
just a reaching
reaching reachingstare ol spaaaaro
I can't. I'm too lostae or spppaaaro
--close to the ground--
--no one can hear me--
a pushing in, like--
falling up into the universe
where my eyes'll explode and I'll explode tragically into the universe
out of every corner
seeping out of the water
tears mixing with dust
the reflection of the stars in the river
something happened there. something no one's seen. I wanted to see how far we could go. the wasteland offered itself prostrate. if you would make that promise. you did and you couldn't keepit.
The Great Beyond. can't take it no mo, the wish wash pneumonics, the cliched ness, the cliche of the word, so fake, so meaningless, I swear to God time is always the same, it never goes faster, never goes slower, it never moves, it is space we move through, it's the spaces that we can never occupy again
get up to be shot down again
and give the money to someone else again
goes back and forth for kno particular reason
spent.
but that means it's gone--gone?
nothing is ever gone.
everything is a big dooming fucking circle, even worse because you know you'll be happy or sad or whatever again and again and again and again and it'll never be over. spent is a lost gone word.
it's all gone--gone where?
I hate when people say they're "spent" because that money's gotta go to someplace else
we're just a capitalist society I guess
all spent just to feed the next person--and what?
is it true that our society just stands us up to shoot us down?
not that I know any alternative--same thing with life
Roar again?
O-kay
just a useless word
that sounds like it should be
embarrassing in its roughness, its innocence
in the face of something better
naive
the engine roared by. it was a thing. a living thing.
I watched it go.
a loadseeming
it goes rough and then high at the end
articulate like
empirical
aristocrat
aristocrat roar
a stupid word
a silly word
preying upon endless youths--ROAR
just a human ummanotapeea
that's all
mess
just a mess.
help people out of property poverty
so they can help...themselves?
what even is a self anyway?
of fuck just shoot me when I do that
my whole BEING shakes with embarrassment
SO META
oh I cry with irony
is this for me anyway?
writing since 2012 · 11 entries · 7 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Jen showed up.
3longest streak
7days written
2.9entries / week
the words Jen reaches for
wordlocalspentthemselvesdulyroarhoneymesshelpanywayshootaristocratsocietyalternativecrosscloser