JackieTheWallflower

JackieTheWallflower

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My teeth are misaligned so my mother takes me to the orthodontist an awful middle-aged man he takes my teeth in his pliers and pulls and pulls and pulls until *poof* they're all gone every last one "All done!" he beams "A perfect smile."

"I've never been religious," I said. "Well then it's a great time to start. Put your hands on your head and turn around." As if in a dream, I did as he told and heard a predatory click. Then one more.

Revival of the greatest Master's glee Don't get caught in jubilee Revival of the master Slave's disgrace Don't get caught in cool embrace

I build myself an armor of secrets but really it's an armor of tissue paper and with every word you whisper to me parts of it disintegrate flake off flutter around and form a vortex of comfort drawing closer to you and your sweet nothings pierce the final bit of chain link paper as I melt into you

My deity is my love - It drives me, begs me to be perfect. Be selfless, be admiring. Use me unconditionally, It says.

Underneath the wretched sun My evil laces come undone Caught like houseflies in a net I pray for when the sun will set.

Angels appear differently for everyone. For me, my angels manifest themselves in the people I love. My family, my friends, my lover. They offer me a holy salvation that traditional angels could never deliver.

Peripheral, that's me Constantly on the edge Never the focus Always the wallflower People see me Out of the corners of their eyes But they don't really see me Not ever They see my mistakes But they don't see me Constantly in the peripheral

An acrobat in the bedroom. That's all she was. A body attached to a pair of lips, a blossom attached to a body. Not a woman, not a human, a pair of dark shadows under eyes.

Losing sight of him, I began to become unhinged Hanging as if by a single fraying thread Snip snip SNAP Suspended in space for a single moment Before I fall Farther and farther from his outstretched hands Clearing vision, and I see he reaches not for me But for someone else Someone I used to be

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writing since 2014 · 82 entries · 82 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Kumquat showed up.

5longest streak

82days written

0.5entries / week

on this day 12 years ago

Kumquat wrote about terrain
“Rocky and wild Side of a mountain Lush and plush Variances For four-wheeling For hiking For gazing For drawing I don't know which Is my favorite But I love the earth”

the words Kumquat reaches for

loveeyeslighthearthopebeginwordsfearchipmunklostfingerscaughtfacesocietypuppymind