jayonawire
I see a spark of life in you.
A spark of something completely true.
There's a star in your heart-
In your mind-
I want to take part
In whatever it is
You do
With your time.
I've looked at you, and I've known you, for so long.
Yet there is so much space between us.
I have loved you, dearest.
But I refuse to take the steps to reunite us.
I don't feel they are steps worth taking any more.
You made that clear when you took steps to separate yourself from me.
Especially when I was replaced with another.
I'm supposed to be dominant. Maybe I am. Maybe I walk into a room and people feel the power coursing through me.
I have electricity. It's hard to get close to me, because I'm always pulsing, and no one likes to feel diminished.
And here I am, establishing dominance.
There's a mass in my heart and it grows, but it's malignant. I cannot love.
I'm incapable.
It's suffocating.
What does it taste like, being happy? Is it a feeling void of any worry?
I've forgotten.
I don't know if I'll remember, but it makes me think of museums with albino crocodiles and long car rides over the Golden Gate Bridge.
I think of my father when I was four.
That's being happy to me.