Jdgbhyd
It was unplanned for me to hate your guts and feel so shit. Yet, here I am nearly one year on and nothing has changed.
The only place to hide, in a war with yourself. The trenches feigned to relieve the mess.
There is exactly no point in me trying. I have never and will never be good enough. You proved that in the ignoring of my pleas for help last night by staying up for another two hours to play video games.
I feel damaged. My life feels in ruins. All the damage has been done and then here I am left. Lost. Alone. Hopeless. Everything feels pointless. The damage is done and there is no going back only the whisper of hope to keep going forward. to undo the damage.
The name of my old blog. The one you never cared to look at or check, to update yourself with the destruction of the construction from the crossfire of the two girls you cared so much more for.
Today I measured myself, my weight, my appearance for the day. That was my measuring, in a literal sense. But really, it measures more than that. I measures how I feel. It measures how I perceive myself. To myself and in comparison to others. There are unmeasurable things, like love, but really sadness is measurable. If your emotions are effected enough by particular things. You can measure your state of well being. Today I didn't measure well, not in any sense. But it's all covered, because I am fine.
writing since 2012 · 7 entries · 6 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Anonymous showed up.
3longest streak
6days written
0.1entries / week
the words Anonymous reaches for
measuremeasuredmeasuresdamageweightliteralmeasuringsadnesscompareothersalonehiddenfinesensecaredyourself