mdnicol
I scan the dark room, barely breathing... looking for any sign of detection. The red light in the corner is facing the other direction. It's now or never.
I wasn't as happy as I could have been. You show up in my life when I least expect it, turning my would upside down. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep holding on to something that will never happen. So to answer your question, no. I am not graced by your presence. Quite the opposite.
The moon was glowing through the night sky as I drove home. This is the only time I feel like I can really let my mind be free. I crank my music up and tune everything else out. Just me, the darkness, the road ahead of me and my music. I lose myself.
You brushed my hand an my heart exploded, my stomached filled with butterflies, and my body became warm. I knew from that moment it was meant to be; you and I.
I don't want to be your next charity case. I don't need your sympathy. I don't need you telling me things that you don't believe because you're afraid to hurt my feelings, or make yourself look like the bad guy.
I fled from you like the toxic mess that you are. You poisoned me. Took everything I had and turned it into nothing... I find myself wondering what I was thinking, I knew I meant nothing to you.
I offer you my everything. My heart. My soul. My body. But that doesn't seem to be enough. How can I get your attention? How can I make you see whats right in front of you when you refuse to open your eyes?
I can't ever win with you.
It amuses me that you think I am so stupid as to let you use me. Especially after what you did to me the first time. It just isn't going to happen, so quit trying.
It makes me ill to see you together. Literally sick to my stomach.
I honestly thought I meant something to you, and looking back on it now, I realize how wrong I was.
Thanks for breaking my heart.
I've never wanted anybody like I have wanted you. Like I still want you. This attraction is sometimes unbearable.... but I can't help but want to be with you. I feel more than just lust, because I do love you... but sometimes this feeling overcomes everything else... and nothing else seems to matter.
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writing since 2011 · 24 entries · 23 days shown up
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