missstrawbunny
I think since I've been here I've doubled the love I have for you. I don't know how it happened but it just did. And it hurts. It really hurts. It hurts to know that I'm in a place so perfect for who I am but that I can't share it with you and you're not here. I'm here. You're there. I don't know what to do about this blah. If only there were a way and there is but I can't and and it doesn't and they won't and you shouldn't.
Rebound. Your mind automatically goes to the person you fuck in order to get over the one you love. But what an ugly thing to do. The rebound will always be known as the rebound. Rarely the one who's cute, the one with the nice smile, the one who's flirted with you for months or years, the one you marry. They're just an object to you but who knows what in the world you meant to them.
The sisterhood is something that is developed over time. You don't just 'get in'. But man o man, when you're in. These girls are your life, they know you inside and out almost better than you know yourself. They're the law, the lighthouse, the brick wall in your life that you hit telling you "Nu-uh, do NOT hit that!"
Each spilled coffee stain on the table has it's own story. Every single one of them. For example, take that long skinny one over there - that's when they decided to make it look 'authentic' and just chucked coffee at the table. That one there is a true coffee stain, happened when we laughed so hard the just coffee slipped out of our hands.
I feel like a tornado. I just keep spiralling out of control and one mental breakdown after another threatens to end me for good I don't think I can do this for much longer. I'm tired. So tired. And I know I say this all the time, when I'm lazy, when I don't want to get the glass of water off the counter or when I just want you to lie with me but I am seriously, physically and illy tired.
I think I think too much some times. The more I mull something over the worse of an idea it seems. For example, I thought for weeks about who to take to semi. Weeks. And by then everyone was already taken. Then, I let myself go for one second- one second, and bam. I have the sweetest, most wonderful and handsome date for semi. I think I'll try thinking less.
One should always be available. Whether it is to lend an ear to a friend, to answer a question for chemistry of be emotionally available, nothing bad can come from leaving yourself open to opportunity. I want to be more available. Because when you leave yourself open to the world, you discover wondrous things.
When you are presented with an opportunity please don't give it up. Give it your all. Make sure you suck every last bit of juice out of that opportunity. Make it your bitch. Take control. Exhaust it to the point where you think there is nothing more it could possibly give. Then push harder.
I was presented with a gift. It didn't come in the form of a car or a shiny ring. It came in the form of a 15 year old boy named Aleks who was assigned as my skipper for the summer. And he is possibly one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. I love what he's done for me, I love what he's helped me become and most of all, I love him.
Give rise to greatness. Rise from the depths of yourself. Know that you are meant to be here. Rise from the shame, guilt and fears you once possessed. You are meant to be here. Rise from the countless times you've fallen. Because the only thing that counts is the fact that you've gone up one more time than you've fallen.
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