mparlour
Someday I want a husband who will always stand beside me. I want someone to love me completely and without boundaries. I want someone who I am not afraid to be me around and someone I can trust with every thing... but for now, I have you.
I know its over yet I think about it still. I think about how it felt to know you were mine and I still wish you were. I still think about what it felt like with your lips on mine. I still think about you smiling at me from across the room. I still think about you.
You stand there divided. Should you risk hurting me for loving me or should you play it safe as nothing more? This division grows inside you until one day it will swallow you whole and it will be too late. Your decision will have been made up for you.
Just a deer in the headlights. I see you coming but I stand frozen in fear. It's all going in slow motion and I wonder, "Should I run?" But then before I can think of an answer, you hit me head on. And suddenly I think to myself as my life fades away, "I should have run."
Can you repeat that please? Did you really just call me that? After everything I have done for you, you turn around and say something about me. You are not worth the effort. You know that? So you know what, don't even bother repeating yourself. You don't deserve a second more of my time.
I've spent the past year searching for some sort of answer to the questions I have. I looked everywhere and asked everything. While on this quest, I learned more about myself than I did about anything else. Life is just one big discovery, learning something new about yourself, about someone else, about the world. And we just have to go out and discover what the world has to offer.
We all want answers. Answers to our prayers, answers to our questions, but we never seem to get them. We ask and ask over and over again, hoping someone will eventually know the answer, but they don't. We spend our lives wanting someone to answer our questions. But no one seems to know how. Maybe, just maybe, we are asking the wrong questions. Or maybe, just maybe, only we can find the answers.
You take every thing for granted. Like it is all just given to you with no expectations. You are an entitled piece of garbage who doesn't know what its like to not have what you want, not have what you need. Yet you expect me to follow your command, like the idea that everyone will follow you is a given. It's not, so get off your high horse, and you will realize you have just been riding an a**, you are shorter and closerer to hell than you thought.
Love and lust are two different things. Get that through your thick skull.
He's failed me. He's made me out for a fool. I lay out my heart, I show him everything that lay inside me and he pretended to care. He failed me, or more like I failed myself by believing in someone who would just turn away from me.
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