mx.dazzalea

mx.dazzalea

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It was all under strict control. What we wore, what we ate, every action of every day was regulated. But it was all for our own good. We would never get a husband on our own and that was the most important thing.

I had never felt this way before. As if everything was falling apart around me. I was floating in space, gasping for air, my stomach ripped out and the ground pulled from beneath me. Call someone your whole world and when they leave you have nothing.

He just thought he was soooo funny. Look out guys we've got an effing comedian in our midst! As if it wasn't jokes I'd heard a hundred times before. And he wasn't even drunk! At least they were usually slightly intoxicated before the smirks and the subtle glances happened until one person was brave enough to break out and say what they were all thinking, the group erupting in raucous laughter.

It was better to face it head on. I always knew that. The problem was that not everyone else did. They called me confrontational, like it was a bad thing for me to speak my mind. And that's why I got kicked out, again and again, and that's why I ended up here. In a tiny, posh, private school full of little girls who think the world revolves around them and big girls who drank champagne and snorted coke.

The light shines above me, so strong I can barely open my eyes. My head is pounding before I even sit up. I don't have a skylight so once again I am not in my own bed. I really have to stop doing this, I think. Good morning, I say. Because once again, I can't take my own advice.

I never quite understood why I understand computers more than people. Even the outcasts, the ones who are socially awkward. It was animals they understood. But I couldn't even keep a plant alive let alone a relationship. So it was all down to me to come up with the technology that I could understand. And install the humanness back into me.

tower

I climbed, as high as I possibly could. Not that I needed to escape, not physically. But up here, where the people are barely visible below but the sun dips so low you feel as though you could touch it. Here is where I can really escape. The sky is painted with purples and blues and burnt orange. A reminder of how insignificant we really are. But also how important.

She was standing there as the most pure and gorgeous person i had ever seen in my life. Her hair settled gently on her shoulders, framing her face, highlighting her silver eyes. But, when I looked down, her hands revealed something horrific...

I was longing for it my whole life. The chance to get away. Not that I was unhappy, rather the opposite even. But I needed something more. To get out into a world I had been sheltered from. And now it was time.

weave

I bobbed and weaved, my shirt sticking to my sweaty back. Each punch pushed a dull ache through my over worked muscles. But each punch released a bit of anger. Anger I'd suppressed for so long, I didn't even know it was still there.

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writing since 2016 · 57 entries · 55 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Daisy showed up.

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55days written

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on this day 10 years ago

Daisy wrote about incognito
“As a child I always wanted to be a spy. Sometimes i still do. Extraordinary intelligence and athleticism and skill. All the cool gadgets. I wanted to be Black Widow, using my beauty to seduce and my …”

the words Daisy reaches for

mindloveplacesonesthoughtswalkingpastelexistroomheadsunrepeatteapotproblemleastspace