nevershotfirst
Repetition. You're saying the same thing again and again but he's not listening. Sandwich it between lies. Fill in the gaps with what he wants to hear. But repeat the thing he doesn't. He might listen, he might.
It's all about the repetition, if you say it often enough he might remember.
Like a catchy chorus, it won't leave him. Hopefully.
The music is echoing, yet I can barely hear it. All I'm seeing, all I'm feeling, are the words you're singing. You're not aware, but every word is a message straight to my heart, and every time you pluck a string I fall for you all over again.
There are tears in my eyes, burning in my throat. I don't know why I do it to myself. But then I feel that stale numbness melt through me, the warmth taking away the pain and the need. And yes it hurts, but I enjoy it.
Warmth, arms wrapped around me, fear.
I was filled with it, I was scared of it. I was happy.
Silky sheets close on my skin.
There is only one word to describe this.
writing since 2011 · 5 entries · 5 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Emily showed up.
4longest streak
5days written
2.3entries / week
the words Emily reaches for
smellwarmthwordhearrepetitiongasolinepetrolinfringementsensesoonlosesmellsfocusclearlymemoriesdeep