piasavage
My temper can be fierce. It's over as quickly as it began. Is it the Irish in me? The Russian Jew? The person who suffers from an invisible disability that has played havoc with my life?
Uh teeth. I always hated mine. Small, yellow, no gaps, i would smile with my mouth closed, a sort of Cheshire Cat/ Mona Lisa smile. Then I had every type of dental procedure to make them larger. Bad move
I don't think a lot about nails though once I helped a friend prime a house for painting and hammered at least a thousand nails. I could make an awful pun and say "I nailed it," but why? Then there are my nails which are in dire need of a mani/pedi.
I wish I hadn't done the practical thing and gotten a Masters in Social Work but had let myself go will and get a PHD in something esoteric and fun or never had gone to grad school at all. That would have been practical.
She felt hemmed in. There was no public transport. No way for her to get out of the neighborhood. It was a nice neighborhood but even Mr Rodger's had to leave his place occasionally. She wanted more. She wanted a life returned.
Copper is a way Cooper sometimes spells her name. That's the only way I can get psyched about copper. When I was a child my aunt gave me a copper bracelet to ward off arthritis. I was nine. I wasn't arthritic bound. Maybe it worked.
My mind doesn't do diagrams well. Once a doctor asked me to copy a graph. I laughed. I couldn't copy any of it. Nothing. Nada. My world sometimes is a harsh one; one that can't be diagrammed correctly,
My mind feels closed. I don't know how else to describe the feeling of despair. I won't make it after all. After trying for so long I'm doomed to fail. Doomed because nobody could ever tell me how good I was. No, I was always supposed to pick myself up and go on.
The store was closed. She cried and cried. Such a stupid thing; it was Thanksgiving after all, what did she expect? It wasn't the store being closed that had her so crazed. It was him. He who told her her mind was closed to love and affection.
I want to feel something sweet; something akin to affection. But I feel cold and tired from trying. It's been too long since we greeted each other with anything but the coldest politeness. Sad truly sad. Once I thought you were the great love of my middle years. Now I understand the affection we felt was need only need.
writing since 2010 · 14 entries · 13 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means pia showed up.
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the words pia reaches for
closedunderstandunderstoodaffectiontryingmindcoppernailsnowsadlovestorecrieddoomedcopysometimes