rommie
I have a trophy. His name is Steve. He's brilliant, but not the way I would sometimes like him to be. In his own way he is a genius. I love him to bits. he's an amazing guy, but terrible at expressing himself to others and even to me, his girlfriend, but that's ok
I load my backpack with lots of things, water, when i hike, books, also when I hike, notebooks, pens and my laptop, again, when i hike. Ok, so I'm "hiking" down a paved bike path and going to starbucks that's across the street from walmart, but still. It's a long freaking walk!
I remember playing in the yard as a child, I remember sunflowers growing against the back fence, green buttons on the siding of our house and the old willow where I used to swing and tell myself stories. I always talked to myself as a child, I was the oldest by four years, and Caleb was a not much company.
I remember... sometimes I think I remember things that are impossible. Something will stir something else in the back of my mind. Some flowers do that for me, especially odd ones, like thistles and zinnias. I sometimes wonder if Plato might have been onto something, with his "old soul theory".
Sideburns make me think of Pride and Prejudice and Victorian clothes, except when they're worn by dirty obnoxious guys. Not all guys can pull off sideburns, some of them look really stupid, but some look all manly and classical like Mr. Darcy.
Despair again? I'm starting to despair of seeing a new word. They do know it's a new day, don't they? At least it is in most parts of the world. Even in the US. Especially in Europe. I can't keep track of Asia though, more's the pity, maybe multiple watches would help.
despair is black, not shiny black, but dark, unyielding black that sucks you in like the empty vaccuum of space. Despair is neither cold nor warm, but nothing, no feeling but emptiness nothing but simple despair.
despair is the lowest of the low, despair is when you let all your hope and ambition drain away and you're left feeling like a painfully empty husk and you simply want to die. I can't let myself despair or I won't be the only one who is lost. The man I love will be lost as well. He needs me, and I him for that very reason.
writing since 2011 · 9 entries · 5 days shown up
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the words rommie reaches for
despairloverememberblacksometimeshikehopefeelingemptylostespeciallysideburnsguyschildmilescant