sanidog

sanidog

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I'm so tired. I'm so tired that I cannot even stand, let alone type. I am so tired, I feel semi solid. I cannot think. I just want to sleep. I am not home. Manners suggest I must stay up, have dinner and then rest. Manners, thou art a heartless bitch.

I think of my Chemistry classes and how I was so bad at it, that it wasn't even funny. I think of all the internal struggle I had to go through to drop it and do what I am doing now. I think about my life. I think about how I love what I'm doing now. Because words, they add substance to my life.

I was walking down the road when I was assaulted. Assaulted by the smell wafting down the street. It came from a house in the neighbourhood. The smell of a barbecue. The smell of companionship, of family, laughter, love and contentment. How I envied them. That is how I had always envisioned my family to be like. But that was never going to happen. I was the only one I had.

Puncture my heart, yes. Go on now, break it apart. I'll hand you the shards. Yes, a quick haiku.

I can not, for the life of me, think of anything except my fifth grade science textbook that told us very vaguely how to repair bicycle tyre punctures. So sue me.

dare

I dare you. I dare you to take a chance. I dare you to take a risk, to do something you thought was impossible. So many people tried and gave up. But you, you are different, I can see. I can see it in your eyes and feel it in your words. I know you want to take the risk. I know you are willing. I dare you, fall in love.

key

The key to success is the same as the key to happiness which is the same as they key to a good life. That is not to say that success leads to happiness which leads to a good life, all three can exist independently. All it means is that nobody knows that key.

I have a secret to tell you. All the times that I told you that I couldn't, all the times that you thought I had given up, I really hadn't. I'm still alive and even though you aren't with me right now, I am happy. I have a secret to tell you: I am free.

She woke up with a start. Cold sweat broke out all over her forehead as as she thought of the events of earlier that day. As she thought of all the tools that he showed her, all the methods he explained to her. She was stuck. Stuck with him. She had nowhere to go.

writing since 2012 · 11 entries · 10 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Sanika showed up.

7longest streak

10days written

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on this day 14 years ago

Sanika wrote about methods
“She woke up with a start. Cold sweat broke out all over her forehead as as she thought of the events of earlier that day. As she thought of all the tools that he showed her, all the methods he explai…”

the words Sanika reaches for

lossesnowkeydarelovesmelltiredchangenecessarystucksecretsuccesshappinessleadsriskwords