scarnes28
Feelings of motivation are with me now! Coming out of a depressive as positive things come into my life. Although I do not know how long it will last, I will relish in these moments...
It looks as if everything has fallen down from the sky. Clocks were broken on the floor, shattered in pieces -- a piano, the one my mother used to play was I was young, laid there too. The strings were frayed across the pavement like a web, and shards of wood splintered thrown carelessly about. It was all broken before me and someone had to pick it all up. The keys looked up at me, the whites and blacks of their eyes shone against the sun and I began to feel this sickness again. The same sickness in that hour when all the chords strike at once and you hear the reverb howl in between your ears. And the keys take me over, the whites and blacks become my skin. I am something familiar, yet terrifying--reeking again. As I claw down a driveway, the street lights vanish into the darkness, I go.
I witnessed everything disappear. First it was my keys, my watch and my cup of coffee. Gone in with a flash they vanished. As I looked around my room - it did not stop there. The books on my shelf, one by one, vanished with a poof. Then, all the things that I held close to my heart, pictures of past loved ones and notes that were passed in the hallway, those too I witnessed them go. Then things began to leave me that I could not see, things I did not even realize had left, like the memory of you in the apple fields, bouncing down the avenues happily taking the apples away.
There was nothing left for them. Disease and famine had drove them away from their home. They were forced across the plains of America to live in the most desolate and worthless of places. There many died with red blood in their hearts. Concentrated in camps and subjected to sadness of a once free land. And the natives fell, like the pines from tree.
"Climb aboard son" the man said. "Where's this train headed?" I ask him and I put my foot onto the platform. He said "It's headed to new orleans, but you can jump off any time you'd like". And I turned and blew her a kiss goodbye.
I was hoping to have everything figured out by now. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. I've learned that you have to take what you want out of life before it gone and never question your instincts.
I am not empty. I am full. I am power and energy. My wreckage will be my past and beauty my future. I will charge relentlessly into the unknown and be unstoppable with my pursuit.
Where has all the time gone. The hand on my watch won't turn. I've been trading in all my smiles for cigarettes and magazine pages to make new tattoos. Now I have memories of TMZ queens and National Geographic monkeys.