sewnewmama
holder. hold her. hold her so closely that she burns you. selfish. be selfless. stop being a holder. grow up. let go. maybe someone else will hold her better. maybe you can find someone to hold you.
there are fuses in my heart left by you. I can light them when I drink. Or they light themselves. and I'm not sure what happens after that. I wish I could cut them. or pretend they don't exist at all. except they do. when you're around. maybe i'll blow one day.
I distribute happiness and negative energy at the same time. everywhere I go. You distribute nothing. They distribute what you give them. which is nothing. He/she/it distributes nothing. Distribution isn't necessary when there is nothing to produce. or distribute. So your life, is rather irrelevant.
Our relationship is a series of tiny fractures. It's the little things you do that break me slowly. Like you're breaking my heart in small pieces, so small that I sometimes can't even feel it. But I feel it later. And, I don't even think you realize it. That's the worst part. I'm going to wake up one day with things broken and I don't deserve that. They don't have doctors for fictional hearts you know. Sometimes I wonder if you're emotionally throwing me down the stairs. Like this might be how it could feel have breaks happening per every stair. These tiny fragments make up more of us then anything else. It's not fair. I hope the fractures I cause are big. That way they only happen once. The pain of that one, doesn't happen again. But you're tiny fractures feel the same every time. And they never stop happening.
It's like those blue strips that come out of the sky. Bit I think of myself like a moth drawn to a flame. Or those bug lights that kill them. It's something so beautiful and spontaneous. I feel like I have to stop and look at it, before it's gone. Like a storm in general.
The way it strikes. The fire at the end of it. I used to wonder how long or how many times I could stand behind a tree. How many times could I tempt fate and get away with it. I never tried to hide from a storm behind a tree. Maybe I should've. Maybe it could have killed me or maybe it could have given me some freaky super power. If I survived, I wouldn't have to live life so ordinary. But then I look at celebrities and thank god for my normalcies.