singinginthedeadofnight
I sat on my old front stoop today.
And like every Hallmark Channel movie, a thousand moments flashed before me
I saw every person who I had shared that step with.
The hugs exchanged, the slurpees drank, the tears that flowed
It was all there
A silly sepia toned montage in my mind.
None of this matters.
The heels, the lipstick.
None of it.
The only thing that really matters is the stars twinkinling in the seemingly infinite darkness and whether or not, at the end of the night your fingers are still intertwined with his.
Keep holding on.
"Catholic school, viscious as roman rule, I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black"
Laying on superman sheets, plaid pleated skirt, white, button up shirt. 16 year old me listened over and over.
"I held my tongue, as she told me son, fear is the heart of love. So, I never went back"
I'll get out of here some day, I vowed.
And so I did.
Every inch was covered, and even some of the cover was cover.
Poster after poster of shows that she had seen.
Beautiful photographs of beautiful people with beautiful smiles.
Her full identity immortalized on a bedroom wall
My dream is New York.
Always has been.
Everything I do, everything I work for is just to get to that big, beautiful city that never sleeps.
But what on earth will I do when I get there?
How will I support myself?
Even if it means becoming a maid, or a garbage person, would it still be worth it?
Probably.
It was completely silent in the car that night.
As the stars flew by like comets on the highway nothing needed to be said.
Our relationship was in the music.
This would be my last journey in this passenger seat.
Just simple words-- I'll love you forever.
Plenty of men have uttered that phrase meaninglessly.
But honestly, how do I commit to something for the rest of my life?
I can't even stay with the same hair color for more than 2 months.
If love is chemistry, then what am I missing to make this reaction work?
We both feel the spark, but what element is it going to take to ignite the flame?
But then again, I guess, all I have is the fact that I adore you.