smellinglikesophie
You planted seeds to this very moment. I stood in a soup already cooked, scoring my hands and knees, but didn't notice. Or was it that I didn't care?
Then I knew that this wasn't going anywhere. The meeting itself has planted new seeds into my mind, so I may forget the old things. I reckon that this is one of your destructive plans; to make me forget who you really are so you may be forgiven. But somehow, I think that I will see through it this time.
I couldn't dwell on anything. They say you shouldn't, but I had never felt so much longing to remember the bad things; to cry over mistakes; to go over everything in my mind. Just one memory. Just one.
I reflected back; deep into the pits of memory that hold me close to their chest until I couldn't breath. I could feel nothing. All the images I saw were just frames of a stalling video player, or empty tapes.
There is an automatic reaction to something that shocks you. The way you had changed in the way you hadn't startled me, and I begun to whirr my senses into that reaction. I closed my eyes delicately, but it made no effect to my thoughts.
You hovered first in the doorway, then gently stepped into the beam of light coming from the shattered roof boards. I saw your face turn with emotion slowly, but it did not change in entity. Your footsteps were light on the floorboards. I could barely hear you above the mouse in the corner of the room.
So there you were. Distinguished gentleman. I knew you for who you once were. But I could see you changed. Anyone could see that. However, I contemplated whether this was really you or whether there was something else hidden deep down that you wish not to show. I find it hard to believe that this is the new you.
It's a funny-looking insect, really. It just crawls back to forth like it has little destination. I know it does. It has a much direction as I do in my path to meet you. It's a small amount of satisfaction, but nevertheless, omnipresent.
An ant crawled along the floor. It vibrated at my footsteps. It's body was tiny, but the way it behaved epitomised the way we do. Humans never quite realise how alike animals and themselves are. But who am I to think I can change it?
There is a division between us. Last time I saw you, it was clear. There was something about the way you looked at my face. A kind of absence of thought. But again, it didn't feel nasty or spiteful, but more uneasy. I didn't know what to think at the time, but now I know it's not something I want for my life.
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