srgots36

srgots36

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I wonder what I will be like I'm an old lady. Will I be alone? Will I have family to visit me? Will I even live to be old? My grandma is 102 so I have longevity on that side of my family. Who knows. I always wondered what I'd be like as an adult...so far I don't like it.

I wonder what it's like to have to put a montage of someone's life together. How long it would take to go through all of the footage, what would be the criteria in choosing events, etc. I wonder what my montage would look like. I think it would be pretty boring.

mint

I love mint. I love it in gum, in ice cream, in candies. I love it with chocolate. My favorite candies as a kid were Andies candies. My grandma always had them. I prefer mint toothpaste and I even love it in tea.

alter

If I could alter anything it would be how my life has unfolded the past ten years. It did not turn out as I had hoped. Not even close. If I had an idea of what was to come I wouldn't have been so excited for the new millennium. Oh well. Time to try again in the 2010s.

boa

I've always wanted to wear a red feather boa. For no reason at all. Just thought they were cool. I always think of drag queens when I see boas. Is that wrong? I could always think of boa constrictors but they're scary so I will think of drag queens being happy and gay in their boas.

Losing you killed me. Knowing you married someone else killed me. Why did you pretend to love me? Why did you make me think you cared? Why couldn't I be the one? I hate you now. I hope she leaves you.

adapt

It is hard to adapt to live at home with your parents after you've been on your own for long. Now. I'm afraid of adapting to life on my own again when the time comes. It won't be for a while but it will happen sooner or later. And I'll have to adapt, again.

I need to go somewhere with a serene setting. Some place with palm trees and a white beach. I need to relax and meditate and think about what I want to do with my life. Being in this house with my crazy family is not helping me at all. I need serenity. Badly.

sheet

A white sheet of paper. That's what I wish I had in front of me. I miss writing in a looseleaf binder. I did that in high school and in college. Maybe I'll go back to doing that. Turn the computer off for a couple of days...

I lived in flannel in the early to mid 90s. I went to college in upstate NY and my closet was full of flannel shirts. It was the grunge era. Flannel and denim were the required uniform...I miss it now, sometimes.

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writing since 2010 · 28 entries · 28 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Anastasia showed up.

3longest streak

28days written

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on this day 16 years ago

Anastasia wrote about help
“I need help. I've needed help for a long time. I need help with everything. I need money. I need a job. I need a life. So help me. Please. Somebody, just help me.”

the words Anastasia reaches for

lovehelpnowmisslivekidwatchingflannelfamilycandieswonderughoverjoyedhappensoonjob