sykilik101
I can feel the Sinking. It comes to me at random times. Sometimes I expect it. Other times I don't. What follows the Sinking is always something that alters my life in a big way. A negative way. I've only ever gotten it four times, and each time changed me in a big way that can never be reversed.
I once wished to be in a band. The guitarist, actually. I thought it would be neat to be able to shred or mellow out in front of all those people. I never really thought about what kind of guitar I'd use, though. I always just liked the noise. The craziness, the going nuts, the ballistic nature of rocking out on a state. The appeal was a buzz I'd never get lose.
Thunder is crashing all around the town. Lightning strikes and the sky goes bright, almost blinding. The boom of the lightning can be heard from miles. It's even almost a crack or a bang. It pierces through the black clouds and crackles the ears of anyone who listens.
I put the trophy atop the console. I finally did it. It took ages, but I finally got to where I wanted to be. Now, I feel like there's nothing left to do, but at the same time, there's now so much I can do. It's a mixed feeling, but I like it. It's a feeling of accomplishment, and that there's more to come. So I'll keep admiring my trophy, to remember how far I've come, and how far I can go.
My crew is always with me. I know it. No matter how crazy things get, or how much trouble I get in, I know they'll bail me out. That's why I love them all. Even when things are awkward and rough, they're there. And nothing is more important to me than them. If I didn't have them, I'd be alone. Which I fear. So to everyone in my crew, thank you.
Today, she gave birth. It's a funny feeling, being a dad. I always thought I'd know how I would feel. Overcome by emotion, a sense of protection, and the need to be by my wife's side. Funny how it's quite different. It's hard to explain, but it was nothing that I expected. Completely different. But I welcomed it. Because in my arms was my child.
I turn on my heel and run. Far, far away. I don't need this. Not at all. Slowly, steadily, but surely, I'd been falling for her. One day at a time, one smile at a time. And it's grown into something I can't control. But then I see this. This isn't what I want to see. What I need to see. And it hurts. More than I could have imagined. So I turn on my heel and run. Far, far away.
writing since 2011 · 7 entries · 7 days shown up
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farfeelingheelrunfunnydifferentcrewtrophyfinallynowlightningsinkingslowlysteadilysurelyfalling